I Can't Break It To My Heart
by SummerBritt963
Summary: Alice never told Rosile that Bella jumped off the cliff. Edward never went to Italy. Edward never came back. Bella and Angela are going to collage and Alice visits Bella. What happens when Edward comes back after Bella has another "Accident"? M for Sex
1. I Can't Break It To My Heart

**My First Fan fiction story! I've read a lot of fan fiction stories and I thought I would right a story myself. So review and favorite my story (: Oh and I'm looking for a Beta. So if your interested message me (:**

_**See I'm circling these patterns**_

_**Living out of memories**_

_**I' still a long way from accepting it**_

_**That there is just no you and me**_

_**~I Can't Break It Into My Heart By Delta Goodrem**_

_**Chapter 1: I Can't Break It To My Heart**_

Its been an agonizing two years waiting for _him _come back. Starring out my window waiting. I've spent two years of nothing. Alice checks in every few weeks. We talk on the phone, she emails me frequently, sends me pictures of them, Christmas cards, birthday cards and valentine's day cards. Emmett has been my valentine for two years. He took me out for dinner and a movie. Made me laugh and cry when he told me about _Edward._ It breaks my heart when they visit and have to leave. I'll never get used to it.

Jacob and I talk sometimes, but he is mostly with his pack. I'm not allowed to see him ever since Sam figured out that Jacob told me about him being a werewolf. But we still talk.

Angela finally convinced me to go to collage with her. I've been going t school to be kindergarten teacher. I really didn't think of what I wanted to be when I was in high school. Because I was hoping I would be with the love of my _existence _and be an immortal. I realized that he wasn't going to come back and that I needed to have job so I didn't have to rely on Charlie to pay the bills and take care of me. I needed a place to stay and I needed a job. Angle and I applied for a small collage in Forks. So we could stay close to the people we loved. I like that we had the same feelings on staying close to our parents. Alice texted me and told me that she was coming to visit me and Angela. Alice's visits were becoming less frequent. She has told me that it wasn't in_ my best interest_ that she visited me often. I would break down and cry at the thought she would leave me. I couldn't handle it.

Alice and Angel became best friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with Alice? Alice was Alice. Beautiful, smart, and funny. I was glade that we all could hang out together. Some times Emmett would come with her. I was grateful that I had such good friends. I don't know what I would do with out them.

"Alice is here!" Angela yelled.

"Coming!" I yelled back. I pulled a shirt over my tank and pulled my hair up.

"Bella!" Alice squealed as she pulled me into a hug. I was breathing in as much of her sent has a I could. "I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too. Always." I said sadly.

Alice frowned.

"We _all_ miss you." She said sadly.

"Yeah." I said sadly.

"Have you eaten today?" Alice said angrily. "Don't lie. Cause I know the answer."

"Not really." I said refusing to look into her eyes. I miss the golden brown eyes I used to love.

"Bella you know you can't take your medicine tonight if you don't eat." Angela said worriedly. I have terrible night mares. Angela couldn't take my screaming so I went to the doctor. He gave me some sleeping medication it helped with the sleeping but I still have night mares.

"I know, I know. I'll eat later." I promised.

"Have you herd anything from..." I trailed off suggestively.

"He checked in yesterday." She said watching me carefully. "No he isn't back." She said guessing what I was thinking

"Oh." I said sadly.

"Bella." Angela said pulling me down onto the couch."You have to let him go. Just like I had to do with Ben."

Angela walked in on Ben and some whore making out. Angela looked like me for a week at the most. I knew that they weren't in love. She would have tried to make it work. If I had the chance to make it work with Edward. I would ave tried my damnedest to make it work. I would have went through hell and back for him. If I could just see him one time. That's all I want. If I had to give up my arms and legs just to be with him one more day. I would give up everything just to see him again.

"She's right, Bella." Alice agreed.

"He can never be replaced. No one can ever replace him." I sobbed into my hands.

"You have too." Angela tried to sooth me.

"You two have never had this happen to you!" I yelled. "I love him! I love him! I would give up my life for his. I would give up everything just for one more day with him. But he doesn't care. He doesn't love me. I'm not good enough for him." I said sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh its okay."Alice tried to sooth me. "Angela go get here something to eat so she can take her medicine, please." Alice gave Angela a dazzling smile.

Angela came back with crackers and my medicine. "Thanks." I mumbled.

I ate my crackers and took my pills. I laid my head on Alice's lap while she combed through my hair. How could I breathe with my lungs? How could I live with out my heart? The medicine kicked in and I fell into a deep sleep.

**A/N: Hate it Like it? Review and message me about being a beta for my story or stories (:**


	2. Woods

**Thanks for all the support for my first chapter. (: Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

_**I'm up in the woods**_

_**I'm down on my mind**_

_**I'm building a still**_

_**To slow down the time...**_

_**~Woods By Bon Iver**_

_**Chapter 2: Woods**_

"_I don't want you anymore." Edward said from behind me in an emotionless voice. I wanted so badly to turn around and look at him in the eyes. But my feet were stuck in place. _

"_Please," I paused to catch my breath. "Don't do this. Stay here with me, please." I begged._

_Nothing._

_I turned slowly. Edward was gone. I turned in circles, trying to decide which way I should go. I looked to my right then left. Everything looked the same._

"_Edward!" I yelled. Nothing. No sounds. No movements. Just me._

"Bella wake up. Please wake up. Your scaring me." Angela's frantic voice called me.

I rolled over. "mmmmm?" I asked my throat think with sleep.

"You weren't breathing." Angela explained.

"Then why did you wake me?" _It would be better to just die then live like this._

"Don't even talk like that!" Angela scolded me. "You have friends and family that love you. What would everybody do with out you?"

"Throw a party?" _I was actually serious. _

"Bella you need to get out. You need someone else." Angela said picking up here cell phone.

"No. I. Do. Not." I stressed each syllable.

"Hey! I know been along time." Angela was talking to someone on the phone. "Listen I have a friend, who needs a good time." I was going to kill her.

"No!" I shouted. _No no no. _

"Yeah will be there at 8-ish? See ya there, bye" Angela put the phone down.

"What the hell, Angela? I told you NO." I screamed.

"I was just trying to help."

"You know help is when I need it. I do not need help!" I screamed.

"Yes, you do." Angela said under her breath.

"I'm not going." I said through my teeth.

"Come on Bells, he's a really nice guy."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'm calling Alice." She threatened.

"Well call fucking Alice. See if I give a shit." I was so mad.

"I will."

"Okay"

Angela started dialing. I knew Alice would dress me up, do my make up, and fix my hair. Ugh.

"Wait, I'll go just don't call Alice." I begged.

"Thank you, thank you thank you Bella! This is going to be great.! Angela said hugging me.

"Okay who did you set me up with?" I asked.

"His name is John." _John?_

"Oh."

"He's really great. I mean totally amazing." She said happily.

"You seem to know him pretty well." I said suggestively.

"We dated for about three months."

"Oh." I said zoning out.

"Well get ready silly." She said motioning to the bathroom.

This was not going to end well. I made a promise to myself that I would never give my heart to someone else ever. And that's not going to change.


	3. If Tomorrow Never Comes

**Thanks for all the support for my first chapter. (: Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

_**If my time on earth were through**_

_**and she must face this world with out me**_

_**Is the love I gave her in the past**_

_**Gonna be enough to last**_

_**If tomorrow never comes**_

_**~If Tomorrow Never Comes by Ronan Keating**_

_**Chapter 3: If Tomorrow Never Comes**_

I stood in front of the mirror trying to figure out what to wear. It shouldn't be this hard, I'm just going to a bar to meet one of Angela's friends. No big deal. Why was I so keyed up? It wasn't like I was actually going to like John. Edward could never be replaced. That would never change, no matter how much I liked someone. Jacob tried to be Edward. That's why we only had a friend relationship. Jacob tried to be what I needed, I think that's what ruined our relationship.

"Knock, knock." Alice said holding up an outfit.

"How did you-"

"What kind of physic slash best friend do you take me for?" She said smiling."Try this on."

Alice handed me a deep blue shirt and dark jeans. I had to admit I really liked this outfit Alice picked out. Usually Alice would go _way _over the top when she got the opportunity to play dress up.

"Like?" Alice said looking in the mirror with me.

"I have to hand it to you Alice, I actually like this one. Thanks" I said patting her arm.

"I had a _feeling_ you would." She winked at me. "Now its time for me to do your hair."

I groaned.

After about an hour I was allowed to look in the mirror to approve Alice's work. My hair was curled and pined pack. I had to admit I liked it.

"Thank you Alice! Your the best!"

"I thought you would throw a fit like the last time I did your hair." She laughed.

The memory made me frown.

"What is it? Did I say something wrong.?" Alice asked.

"No ,no its fine. Some day I'll look back and think about the times we shared as the happiest days of my life." _Maybe..._

Alice looked sad. I know I split up the Cullen family. Alice informed me that Edward didn't come back to Forks. He was probably in another country, having the time of is life without the burden of saving me everyday. If that's what he wanted then I'm happy for him.

Alice helped Angela get ready and I begged Alice to go too. Alice agreed, but I could tell she wanted to go too.

We walked into the bar and Angela scanned the crowed for her friends who were supposed to meet use here.

"John! Ben!" Angela called over the crowed and music.

"Ben?" I asked surprised.

"We're trying to be friends." She said motioning them to come over. _Lets see how long this lasts._

John was walking beside been looking at me. I blushed about three different shades of red.

"Be happy Bella." Alice whispered in my ear.

"Hi." John greeted me. "You must be Bella." He said extending a hand to me.

"Hi." I said shaking his hand.

"Do you want to get a drink?" John asked taking my hand.

"Sure." I said walking with him to the bar. I looked over my shoulder to see Alice and Angela smirking at me.

"What would you like?" John asked.

"Um.. A diet coke?" It sounded more like a question.

John turned to the bartender and said "one diet coke and a beer."

"So where are you from?" John asked trying to get a conversation started.

"Well I did live in Phoenix for a while, but when I was , um, seventeen I moved here to live with my dad." I said looking down.

"Shouldn't people from Arizonan be really tan?" He teased.

"Hm, where have I herd that before?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

We got out drinks and John talked about where he was from. He was from Texas and moved here to go to collage on scholarship. His mom died when he was young. Him and his dad don't talk. He plans to be a social worker. I don't really talk I just listen and nod my head when appropriate. John doesn't really have a sense of humor. I miss that. Just being able to joke around

The band says there going play a slow song for all couples. I really hope John doesn't ask me to dance. But with my bad luck...

"I love this song!" John exclaims he sounds drunk. "Wanna dance?"

"I can't really dance." I admitted.

"I'll teach you." He said offering me his hand.

"Okay." I said not wanting to sound rude.

_Sometimes late at night _

_I lie awake _

_And watch her sleeping_

John took my hands and placed them on either side of his neck and placed his on my hips. We swayed in a small circle.

"See your dancing" John said smiling.

_She's lost in peaceful dreams_

_So I turn out the lights_

_And lay there in the dark_

I put my head on his shoulder and go back to prom with_ Edward._

_And the thought crosses my mind_

_If I never wake in the morning_

_Would she ever doubt the way I feel about her_

_In my heart_

I'm back dancing with him under those beautiful lights again. My hands on his cold , stone shoulders. Him guiding me with his feet. Edwards beautiful bronze hair and stunning golden brown eyes.

_If tomorrow never comes_

_Will she know how much I loved her_

_Did I try in every way _

_To show her every day _

_That she's my only one_

_And if my time on earth _

_were through_

_And she must face this world with out me_

_Is the love I gave her in the past_

_gonna be enough to last_

_If tomorrow never comes.._

"See your a great dancer." John whispered in my ear snapping me out of my day dream. I couldn't do this.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." I said walking away from him.

"It's because of Edwin isn't it?" He asked laughing.

"Its Edward."

"Well that lucky bastard didn't deserve you. Your a fine piece of ass." John said grabbing my hand.

"Get the hell away from me." I screamed at him.

"Lets go back to my dorm, Angela said you needed a good time." He slurred.

"She said get away from her." Alice glared at him. She even scared me.

"Okay , okay." John said stumbling backwards.

I started toward the doors. I went outside and leaned against the cold brick wall. When I herd.

"Hey baby. Whats a pretty thing like you doing her all _alone_." A tall man with blonde hair said walking over to me.

" Leave me alone." I said walking across the street.

_'Run Bella' _A beautiful voice said.

I looked behind me and four men we're running after me. I took off into a sprint. I looked across the street, and standing a few feet from me was _him. _

"Edward?"

I started into traffic. I almost got hit twice by the same car.

"Bella! Stop!" I herd Angela scream from the bar.

"Edward!" I screamed.

"Bella watch out!"

I looked to see to bright lights coming at me. Then everything went black.

**A/N: I've actually got hit by a car before on my seventeenth birthday party. Me and my friends were playing around in a restaurant parking lot and I got it by a car and was in the hospital for three to four weeks with lots of broken bones and crap. Not fun. Lol So hope you liked this chapter and remember to review (:**


	4. For Blue Skies

**Thanks for all the support for my first chapter. (: Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

_**I'm under that night**_

_**I'm under those same stars**_

_**We're in a red car**_

_**You asleep at my side**_

_**Going in and out of the headlights **_

_**Could I have saved you**_

_**Would that have betrayed you**_

_**I wanna burn this film **_

_**You along pills**_

_**What you couldn't do I will**_

_**I forgive you**_

_**I'll forgive you**_

_**I'll forgive you**_

_**I forgive you**_

_**~For Blue Skies by Strays Don't Sleep**_

_**Chapter 4: For Blue Skies**_

"She's losing too much blood Alice!" A velvet voice growled.

"Edward we have to get her to a hospital."

"Edward?" I mumbled.

"I'm right here." Edward said touching my cheek.

I couldn't see. I could open my eyes. My body didn't want to move. It was like I was too tired to move.

I ached everywhere. I had a huge head ache.

"Please don't leave me." I slurred as I blacked out again. I saw a blurry image of his pained expression before I drifted out of consciousness.

I woke up to an annoying beeping sound that belonged to a monitor. I tried to move but everywhere I tried to move hurt.

"Try to stay still."

"Edward." I asked jumping up, then the pain hit me. "Ow"

"Actually its Alice." Alice said coming over to me."How are you feeling?"

"What happened? Did I trip or get hit in the head by a fallen piece of the sky? I asked trying to make a joke.

"You ran into traffic." She said angrily.

"Yeah about that. There were some men chasing me."

"Yeah but you shouldn't have ran in front of a damn car! I almost exposed us Bella. If Ed-"

"Edward? Edward's back?" I Screamed.

"Shh! Be quiet." Alice scolded me.

"Where, where is he?" I asked looking around.

"He had to go hunt. There was a lot of blood."

"He's coming back right?"

"He hasn't made a decision yet. I'm watching though."

"Oh." I said laying back down." "Ow." My back hurt like hell.

"What hurts?" Alice said looking me over.

"I'm fine."

"No your not."

"Wow, isn't that obvious." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Smart ass go to sleep."She teased.

"Humph." I feel into a deep,dreamless sleep.

I woke up thinking I was at my dorm room, but the pain brought me back to reality.

"Alice."

"Bella." A familiar voice called.

"Edward?" I asked looking around the room for him. I jumped to see him at the side of my bed. I tried to sit up but his strong hands pushed me back down.

"Shh,just lay down. I'm here."

I started to cry hysterically.

"Bella, Bella! What hurts? Tell me I'll fix it." Edward said in a worried voice.

"Please, please don't leave me." I begged.

He took my hands in his. "I swear. As long as its whats-" I cut him off.

"No. None of that 'as long as its whats best for you' shit." Edward flinched at my choice of words.

"I'm not going anywhere." Edward said leaning down to kiss me.

I turned my head. How much can a heart take and expect to keep beating? How many time can a heart break and be patched back up and stay together? I knew he would leave again, it would be hard enough to deal with the pain with out this memory.

"Please don't." I gasped.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked hurt.

"No!" I screamed.

"Shh, okay." He got on his knees beside my bed and starred into my eyes.

"Why are you here? Alice said you'd never come back to forks." I asked confused.

"Alice was covering for me." I was lost.

"Cover for you, why?" I asked.

"I've been watching you." He admitted.

"Watching me? But you said?"

"I know what I said, I lied."

"You lied?"

"The only reason I left was for you to have a chance at a normal, happy human life." Edward said looking into my eyes.

"Lied." I repeated to my self. "So all this you put me through was because you thought I was better off with out _you_?"

"Yes." Edward kissed my hand that wasn't bandage.

"But how could you do that. Leave me here, with out you?"

"I know it was foolish of me."

"Ugh, I must look terrible." I remember I wasn't young anymore. I was _twenty._

"Out of all the things that _should_ be going through your mind, your thinking about how you look?" He laughed.

"I'm not as young as I used to be." I said moving into a sitting position with Edward's help.

"Twenty is not that old, Bella."

"It's three years older than you." I said admiring his youth.

"Esme is three years older that Carlisle, and that hasn't made a difference to them." He replied.

"I'll get older you know." I warned.

"Yes you will , But I'll always love you the same." He promised taking my hand and putting it to his heart.

"I love you Edward." I said taking my and stroking his face. He leaned into my touch.

"Bella how can you still love me after all I did to you?" What a stupid question.

"I never stopped. I made a promise to myself that I would always love you no matter what. I always have." I tried to lean to kiss him, but my hospital bed was making it incredibly difficult. Edward knew what I wanted and kissed my awaiting lips. His hands brushed against my scratched and bruised face. When I needed air he kissed every scratch and bruise on my face. Edward whispered 'My Bella, my Bella' against my lips. I smiled. He pulled away as the nurse walked in.

"Your Dad's here to see you." She said propping me up on a pillow.

"You should probably go." I told him sadly."My dad doesn't really know..." I trailed off suggestively.

"I understand completely." Edward said walking out the door.

"Wait!" I called. "Your coming back, right."

He walked over to my bed and kissed my forehead. "I will be back as soon as Charlie leaves. Spend time with your dad. I know he misses you very much. I will be back." He promises.

"Okay." I sighed. As soon as Edward walked out, Charlie walked in.

"Bella, What happened?" Charlie asked coming over to me.

"You know me and my bad luck." I tried to make a joke out of it.

"Bella."

"I got hit by a car."

"I know that but you should know better than to run across the street in moving traffic." Charlies' face was going red with anger."What the hell were you think, Bells."

"Dad I'm sorry, It was stupid, I know. I was just wasn't thinking." I said looking down at my hands.

"Were you drunk?"

"No!" I shouted."You know me better than that!"

Charlie looked embarrassed.

"I'm just worried about you, Bells."

"I know dad." I said looking at him. "But I'm not a kid anymore."

"I know, Bells. I'm just acting like every father should."**(A/N: My dad's actually words when I got hit by that car. "Were you drinking." **_**Yes "**_**No dad." Lol funny I know. Lol)**

"I know dad. I should be out in about three weeks." I said hopping he would go so I could see Edward.

"I can stay if you want." He offered.

"No, no. You have work and Sue would miss you. Alice will take care of me."

"But I don't care to. If you need anything just call me and I'll come as soon as I can." Charlie promised.

"I know dad." I said patting his arm."Love you."

"Love you" Charlie said walking out of my room.

"Edward?" I called. Nothing. I waited a minute. Nothing. I started to panic. I was hyperventilating.

Edward came sprinting into the room. "Shh, I'm here. I'm here." He kept chanting.

"Edward please don't leave me." I sobbed. "Please."

He took my face in his hands carefully."Look at me." I opened my eyes and looked into his. "I'm not going anywhere with out you."

I continued to cry. What if his promises means nothing. "But what if your lying to me now?" I asked not able to look into his eyes.

"Do you you trust me?" He asked as I looked into his eyes.

I didn't answer right away. I wanted my answer to be completely honest.

"Yes, I do." He let go of my face and looked into my eyes. "Will you sleep with me?" I asked. "Up here with me."

He helped me over to the other side of the hospital bed so he could lay behind me. Edward laid his arm over my side and put his chin on my head. I feel fast asleep on his arms.

**A:N/ Thanks for all the support (: Reviews=Update.**

**In the next chapter Bella will asked Edward some hard questions.**


	5. Every Time We Touch

**Thanks for all the support for my first chapter. (: Hope you enjoy this chapter. I**

_**I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me**_

_**I still feel your touch in my dreams**_

_**Forgive me, my weakness**_

_**But I don't know why**_

_**Without you its hard to survive**_

_**Cause every time we touch **_

_**I get this feeling**_

_**And every time we kiss**_

_**I swear I can fly**_

_**Can't you feel my heart beat slow**_

_**I can't let**_

_**You go**_

_**Need you in my life..**_

_**~Every time we touch by Cascada**_

_**Chapter 5: Every time we touch**_

I woke with a sharp pain in my leg. I rolled over to find the my hospital bed empty. I looked around the room. Edward was leaning against the wall.

"Good afternoon, love." Edward said coming over to kiss my noes.

"Afternoon?" I asked.

"It's around one-forty."

"Oh." I said feeling a little awkward. "So what have you been doing up till yesterday?" I asked trying to get a conversation started.

"Nothing too interesting." He said putting a stray piece of my hair behind my ear. "Your so beautiful." Edward said touching my face.

"Stop trying to distracting me." I laughed.

"I've been watching you most of the time." He said smirking.

"Were you really there when I got hit?"

"What do you mean was I really there?"

Could I really explain to him about me visions of him. Hearing voices?

"Your thinking awfully hard about something. What is it?" He asked looking into my eyes.

"Where's Alice?" I asked trying to distract him.

He sighed, "Telling Esme and Carlisle that I'm back. There coming over to see you a little later."

"Oh that's good." I said forcing a smile.

Some odd minutes passed while we were both lost in thought. I waited for him to say something, he said nothing. Maybe he didn't have anything to say. Maybe it was just me who wanted some conversation. I memorized his face all over again. His strong jaw, his beautiful eyes, and his full red lips.

After what seemed to be forever Edward asked,"Tell me something. What were you thinking when you were dancing with that man. You looked like you were in a daze of some sort."

"I was thinking about dancing with _you." _I said looking down.

"Bella, I will do everything in my power to make you love and trust me again." He vowed.

"I love and trust you."

"I've hurt you. I see it all over your face." He said touching my face.

"I'm fine." I insisted.

"There you go again with the damned word." Edward said in a tight voice.

"I am. I mean now I am. Your here now." I said trying to get Edward out of his bad mood.

"I will earn your trust back."

"You already have." Assured him.

"You love me more than I deserve."

I thought carefully about my next words. I knew I loved him and I wanted to show him.

"Edward. Make love to me." I said looking into his eyes.

Edward took a sharp intake of breath.

**A/N: Ooooooo I bet you didn't see that coming. Lol hmm what will Edward decide? **

**Reviews=Update & 3 love (: **


	6. Hallelujah

**Thanks for all the support for my first chapter. (: Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

_**I've seen your flag on the marble arch**_

_**And love is not some victory march**_

_**Its a cold and a broken Hallelujah**_

_**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**_

_**Hallelujah, Hallelujah**_

_**Hallelujah**_

_**~Hallelujah By Imogen Heap**_

_**Chapter 6: Hallelujah**_

"Bella, love, your hurt." Edward said gesturing to my fractured leg.

"Please Edward."I wanted nothing more.

"Bella you know we can't. You would get hurt."

I hated when people thought of me as some fragile, breakable doll.

"Edward, Please. After I get out of the hospital."

"We'll discuss this later." Edward said getting up.

That's when Esme and Carlisle walked in. They looked the same. I was probably getting older.

"Oh, Edward! We've missed you so much!" Esme said as she hugged Edward.

"I've missed you too _mom._" Edward said returning the hug.

"Bella how are you feeling, darling." Esme said walking over to my bed side.

"I've had worse." I said forcing a smile looking over at Carlisle whispering something to Edward.

"I know sweetie." Esme said patting my arm. "I've missed you so much." The last time I saw Esme was last Christmas.

"Me too. I've missed you all." I said smiling. "Well everyone except Emmett."

Esme laughed. "Well that's understandable."

"Yeah is Emmett here?" I asked.

"No. He and Rose went hunting."

"Oh." I said a little disappointed. Emmett was my best friend, well next to Alice of course.

"We'll I'm glade your okay." I looked around the room.

"Where's Edward?" I said setting up. My back still hurt I winced in pain.

"I think he stepped out. Would you like me to get him." Esme asked stroking my face.

"Please." I replied.

Esme walked out. Edward walked in. Edward must had seen our conversation through Esmes' mind.

Edward walking over to my bed side and took my hands in his.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked as he kissed my fingers.

"Much better now." I sighed as he kissed my lips.

My monitor showed my heart rate speeding up. We both laughed.

"Edward you realize I'll get old someday right." I said holding back my tears.

"That's the way its supposed to be." Edward said looking into my eyes.

"I don't want me being human get between us again. You can't protect me from everything. I'm going to die someday. The only solution is to change me." Edward's face dropped. "I want to be with you forever and ever. But before you change me I want to give myself to you completely."

"You don't know know what your asking." Edward said putting his hands on either side of my face. "I Love you Bella. I want you always. But you haven't a clue about what your asking."

"Yes I do. I want you forever. Please Edward." I begged.

"Bella your in your third year of collage. You have a future. You would have to give up your hard work. You wouldn't be able to be around you parents or friends for an awfully long time. Think of them before me Bella. They deserve you to be with them." Edward said sadly.

"Edward-"

"Think of everyone who would miss you."

I thought of Angela and my parents. Would I be too different? Would I be to dangerous that I would want to kill my own parents and friends?

"See. Think about what your giving up." Edward said running a hand through my tangled hair. "Think about what you would be giving up for me."

"This isn't fair." I sobbed.

"Shh, I know Bella, I know." Edward cradled me to his chest. "I'm so sorry. I wish I was human so I could give you everything you desire. I'm sorry." Edward said in a pain filled voice.

Some weeks passed. Edward stayed with me, until I made him hunt. He sent Alice to baby sit me. Alice and me talked like we used Alice combed my hair free of tangles and helped me into the shower. My dad came by to see me and brought me flower along with the flowers Edward brought me just a day later. When my dad asked who they were from Alice said Angela brought them. Angela came by often to check on me but, I knew she had homework to do so I told her to go if she had to. Me and Edward talked about the times we had when we were together. He made me laugh and cry. I loved him so much. On my last night in the hospital I watched Edward play chess. I laughed at Alice when she got flustered. Edward just laughed. I missed all of us being together. It was good for all of us being together again.

Edward helped me get into his car and drove me to his house. I called Forks collage to inform them that I wouldn't be returning. Edward said I was making a big mistake, but I knew I wanted to spend time with Edward. I called Angela to tell her. She was sad, but I knew she would get over it.

Edward got all of my stuff and I moved into his room. He bought a bed for us to sleep in if I was going to be staying here with them. I mentioned, more than once, he wouldn't have to go through all this trouble if he would just change me. We got into another argument over that subject again.

At night I would get as close to him as I could and kiss him. He would restrain me when I crossed his caution lines. I would groan and he would get out of bed and walk out side to get some air. I would sneak out and follow him. Only for him to tell me to go back inside without even turning around.

I would go inside and lie awake until he came back to be and wrapped his arms around me. I would sigh and kiss his cheek and fall asleep.

Edward was acting strange. I couldn't put a finger on it. I would ask him and he would say " Nothing sweet heart."

"Alice, I need your help." I confessed as I sat on her bed.

"About?" She said smugly.

"Don't you already know?" I said nervously.

"Of course I do. I just want to here you say it." She giggled.

"Alice." I groaned.

"Say it Bella. What would you like Alice to do." Alice said laughing.

"I want to seduce Edward." I said in a serious face.

Alice fell off the bed laughing.

**A/N: Sorry to leave you hanging but I'm writing the next chapter as your reading this one, so don't hate me (: lol. Thanks everyone who has reviewed. You guys are awesome. You make me keep writing (: Next chapter will be up today hopefully so watch your email.**

**Thanks guys**

**~Britt (: **


	7. Everything We Had

**Thanks for all the support for my first chapter. (: Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

_**Everything we had **_

_**Everything we had**_

_**Everything we had**_

_**Is no longer there**_

_**~Everything We Had By The Academy Is**_

_**Chapter 7: Everything We Had**_

"Okay, Bella. The first things first, lingerie." Alice giggled. "Put this on about thirty minutes before Edward will get home from his hunting trip and sit on the counter in the kitchen. He should be home by eight-thirty. By then everybody should be out of the house." She said handing me a lacy blue bra and matching panties.

"Alice I don't know." I said a little leery.

"Come on Bella. If this is really what you want. Do it." Alice said squeezing my hand. "This will turn out well. Trust me."

"Okay." I sighed. "But I'm not..." I tried to come up with the right word. "Sexy? Or confident like you. I'm not pretty."

"Bella yes you are." Alice said turning me around to make me look into her full length mirror.

"I'm not pretty like you. I'm plain." I said turning from my reflection.

"Bella, don't start with this now." Alice wined. "Edward is going to be home in an hour, I've got to go meet the others."

"Okay, okay. Go Alice I'll be fine."

"You will be fine." Alice assured me. "I've already seen it."

That made me feel a little better.

"Okay, I trust you."

"Now go get ready." Alice said pushing me into her big bathroom.

I put on some eye shadow Alice showed me how to put on , and put on the bra and panties Alice bought me. I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath.

I walked down the stairs, and went to the kitchen and sat on the counter. It was a little after eight-thirty, maybe he's running late I thought. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.

Edward was walking up the stairs to the door. When he opened the door he stopped and looked at me for a minute. I blushed about fifty shades of red. Edward groaned.

"Bella. What the hell are you wearing?" Edward asked in a tight voice.

"What? Do you like it?" I said walking over to him wondering where the confidence was coming from.

"That's not the point." He said as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Then whats the point?"

"We are not doing this." Edward said matter of fact.

"Doing what?" I asked innocently as I started unbuttoning his shirt.

Edward groaned kissing my neck. Was he giving in? I got through all the buttons of his shirt he shrugged out of it and dropped in on the floor. I put my hand on his neck bring his face to mine for a kiss. I gasped into Edwards mouth when he hitched my leg around my hip an carried me to the counter. Edwards hands rubbed my back as he kissed my neck. I moaned when I felt his tongue lick that sensitive skin under my ear.

"Bed room?" He gasped. I nodded in agreement.

The speed was blinding as we made it to his bed room in record time. Edward threw my on the bed I bounced and giggled. My hands reached for him as he came over to lay on top of me. His lips were back on mine and I felt his tongue, cold as ice, trace my lips.

I moaned as he cupped my right breast. He licked my cleavage. My hands went into his hair.

"Edward I want you inside me." I started unbuttoning his pants. I blushed as he watched me. I got to his zipped when he stopped me.

"Bella, we can't." Edward said locking his hands on my wrists.

"Edward, please. I love you. I trust you not to hurt me." I said looking into his eyes.

"Bella, you have to promise me that you will tell me if I hurt you." Edward said cupping my face In his hands.

"I promise." I said as I held his hand to his face.

Edward leaned in to kiss me. Edward laid me gently on my back as he moved to lay on top of me. His hand traced me thigh. Edward's hands went to the claps of my bra. He looked in my eyes asking for permission. I nodded. My heart was pounded as he slide the straps off my shoulders. Edward starred at my best until I covered them with my arms in embarrassment.

"You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." Edward said kissing each breast.

"So are you." I gasped. It was true Edward has the most beautiful soul, the most brilliant mind, and the most beautiful smile.

Edward removed my panties and shed the rest of his clothes. Edward positioned his self at my entrance.

I moved my hips and felt the tip of his erection slip inside me. How was he ever going to fit? I looked at his massive erection and suddenly got scared.

"Bella if I hurt you, you must tell me." Edward said in a tight voice.

I wrapped my legs around his hips urging him to move forward. Edward push in. I felt him at my barrier and braced myself for the pain that was coming next.

"This will hurt, Bella. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Edward." I assured.

Edward's hips shot forward breaking my thin barrier. I whimpered at the pain.

"I'm sorry Bella." Edward said placing kisses all over my face.

I moved my hips around. I felt a little discomfort, but nothing I couldn't handle.

"You can move Edward. I'm okay now." I assured him.

"Your sure?" Edward asked for the millionth time.

I nodded. Edward began to move inside me. The sensation was incredible.

I moaned, and dug my heals into his ass. Urging him to move faster.

Edward groaned and complied.

That's when Emmett came in. "My eyes!" Emmett teased covering his eyes.

"Damn it, Emmett!" Edward shouted.

**A/N: I'm going to but this story on hold and write another, that will be better than this story. I plan to finish this story, but I haven't decided yet soooo... But I hope you will read the story I'm working on. **


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